Psychology

Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. It is more important than IQ for success in relationships, career, and personal life. Fortunately, EI can be developed — like a muscle.

The first component is self-awareness. The ability to notice your emotions: “I’m angry,” “I’m offended,” “I’m scared.” We often say “I’m irritated,” but in reality we’re scared or tired. Learn to give emotions precise names.

The second is self-regulation. This is not suppressing emotions, but managing reactions. You can be angry, but not shout. You can be afraid, but take a step. Techniques: breathing, pausing before answering, writing down emotions.

The third is motivation. Not external (money, status), but internal — the desire to grow, to be better, to do things with soul. People with high EI do not work “on autopilot,” but with a conscious meaning.

Fourth — empathy. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Don’t rush to give advice. First — hear: “Do you feel…?” Empathy builds trust and deep connections.

Fifth — communication skills. The ability to express your feelings honestly but respectfully. Use “I-statements”: “I feel hurt when you don’t respond” — instead of “You ignore me.”

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Emotional burnout is not just fatigue, but chronic exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, especially at work or in caring for others. It manifests itself as apathy, irritability, a sense of meaninglessness, physical fatigue. Many do not notice it until they “break down”.

The first signs are emotional alienation: you stop feeling joy from doing things you used to love. Work, communication, hobbies – everything seems meaningless. Cynicism appears: “Nothing will change anyway.”

Physical symptoms: chronic fatigue, insomnia, headaches, decreased immunity. The body screams that its resources are running out. Do not ignore these signals.

Cognitive signs: inattention, forgetfulness, decreased concentration. You feel that you “can’t cope”, although you could cope easily before. This is not about abilities – it is about overload.

The first thing you need to do is acknowledge burnout. Don’t say “I’m just tired.” Say “I’m burned out. I need recovery.” This is not weakness — it’s honesty.

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Boundaries are invisible but very important frames that show what is acceptable for you and what is not. Without them, you risk becoming overwhelmed, irritated, burned out. Boundaries are not selfishness, but a form of self-care and respect for others.

The first step is to recognize your limits. What exhausts you? When do you feel irritated, tired, guilty? These are signals that the boundary has been violated. For example: a colleague asks for help at 8:00 pm, and you are already on vacation. Or a friend calls every evening, although you want to spend time with your family.

Boundaries can be physical, temporal, emotional and digital.

Physical: “I don’t want to hug”
Temporal: “I don’t work on weekends”
Emotional: “I’m not ready to listen to complaints right now”
Digital: “I don’t read messages after 9:00 PM”
Learn to say “no” without explanation. You don’t have to justify yourself. “Thank you for the offer, but I can’t” is enough. Adding “I’m tired” or “I have things to do” only gives you an excuse to persuade.

Speak clearly and calmly. Avoid apologizing: “I’m sorry I can’t…” – this weakens the boundary. Better: “I appreciate your invitation, but I won’t be able to attend this time.”

Be prepared for resistance. People who are used to your availability may be offended. This does not mean you are wrong. It means they are used to the old rules. Stay calm and consistent.

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Many people live in constant self-criticism: “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m lazy,” “I’m not like others.” This inner criticism is like a voice that never stops. But it doesn’t make you better — it drains you, causes anxiety, and prevents you from growing. It’s time to replace it with a voice of care and acceptance.

Start by observing your inner dialogue. Write down what you say to yourself. Often we don’t notice how harshly we treat ourselves. Imagine your best friend saying these words. Would you talk to them like that? Most likely, no.

Replace criticism with self-compassion. Instead of “I messed up again,” — “I did what I could. I’m learning.” Self-compassion is not an excuse, but an acknowledgement of humanity. Everyone makes mistakes, gets tired, and doubts.

Practice daily words of encouragement. Tell yourself in the morning: “I am worthy of love”, “I am taking a step forward”, “I am already better than yesterday”. Repeat, even if you don’t believe it. Over time, the brain will begin to accept these statements.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone goes their own way. Someone has a different childhood, resources, circumstances. Comparison is the path to suffering. Instead, compare yourself to yourself in the past. Where were you a year ago?

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Anxiety is not just “nerves” but a complex condition in which the brain perceives a threat even where there is none. It can manifest itself as a racing heart, sweating, thoughts about the worst, fear of making a mistake or losing control. It is important to understand: anxiety is not a weakness, but a defense mechanism that can be learned to regulate.

The first step is to acknowledge anxiety, not fight it. When you say, “I feel anxious” instead of “I should stop being nervous,” you stop fighting it. This reduces tension. Anxiety is like a wave: it comes, peaks, and goes away. The main thing is not to drown in it.

Use breathing techniques. Deep diaphragmatic breathing reduces the activity of the sympathetic nervous system. Try: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat for 2-5 minutes. This helps to “reboot” the nervous system.

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. Name:

5 things you see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

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