Boundaries are invisible but very important frames that show what is acceptable for you and what is not. Without them, you risk becoming overwhelmed, irritated, burned out. Boundaries are not selfishness, but a form of self-care and respect for others.
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The first step is to recognize your limits. What exhausts you? When do you feel irritated, tired, guilty? These are signals that the boundary has been violated. For example: a colleague asks for help at 8:00 pm, and you are already on vacation. Or a friend calls every evening, although you want to spend time with your family.
Boundaries can be physical, temporal, emotional and digital.
Physical: “I don’t want to hug”
Temporal: “I don’t work on weekends”
Emotional: “I’m not ready to listen to complaints right now”
Digital: “I don’t read messages after 9:00 PM”
Learn to say “no” without explanation. You don’t have to justify yourself. “Thank you for the offer, but I can’t” is enough. Adding “I’m tired” or “I have things to do” only gives you an excuse to persuade.
Speak clearly and calmly. Avoid apologizing: “I’m sorry I can’t…” – this weakens the boundary. Better: “I appreciate your invitation, but I won’t be able to attend this time.”
Be prepared for resistance. People who are used to your availability may be offended. This does not mean you are wrong. It means they are used to the old rules. Stay calm and consistent.
