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Roger Simpson

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Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. It is more important than IQ for success in relationships, career, and personal life. Fortunately, EI can be developed — like a muscle.

The first component is self-awareness. The ability to notice your emotions: “I’m angry,” “I’m offended,” “I’m scared.” We often say “I’m irritated,” but in reality we’re scared or tired. Learn to give emotions precise names.

The second is self-regulation. This is not suppressing emotions, but managing reactions. You can be angry, but not shout. You can be afraid, but take a step. Techniques: breathing, pausing before answering, writing down emotions.

The third is motivation. Not external (money, status), but internal — the desire to grow, to be better, to do things with soul. People with high EI do not work “on autopilot,” but with a conscious meaning.

Fourth — empathy. The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Don’t rush to give advice. First — hear: “Do you feel…?” Empathy builds trust and deep connections.

Fifth — communication skills. The ability to express your feelings honestly but respectfully. Use “I-statements”: “I feel hurt when you don’t respond” — instead of “You ignore me.”

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Emotional burnout is not just fatigue, but chronic exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, especially at work or in caring for others. It manifests itself as apathy, irritability, a sense of meaninglessness, physical fatigue. Many do not notice it until they “break down”.

The first signs are emotional alienation: you stop feeling joy from doing things you used to love. Work, communication, hobbies – everything seems meaningless. Cynicism appears: “Nothing will change anyway.”

Physical symptoms: chronic fatigue, insomnia, headaches, decreased immunity. The body screams that its resources are running out. Do not ignore these signals.

Cognitive signs: inattention, forgetfulness, decreased concentration. You feel that you “can’t cope”, although you could cope easily before. This is not about abilities – it is about overload.

The first thing you need to do is acknowledge burnout. Don’t say “I’m just tired.” Say “I’m burned out. I need recovery.” This is not weakness — it’s honesty.

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Boundaries are invisible but very important frames that show what is acceptable for you and what is not. Without them, you risk becoming overwhelmed, irritated, burned out. Boundaries are not selfishness, but a form of self-care and respect for others.

The first step is to recognize your limits. What exhausts you? When do you feel irritated, tired, guilty? These are signals that the boundary has been violated. For example: a colleague asks for help at 8:00 pm, and you are already on vacation. Or a friend calls every evening, although you want to spend time with your family.

Boundaries can be physical, temporal, emotional and digital.

Physical: “I don’t want to hug”
Temporal: “I don’t work on weekends”
Emotional: “I’m not ready to listen to complaints right now”
Digital: “I don’t read messages after 9:00 PM”
Learn to say “no” without explanation. You don’t have to justify yourself. “Thank you for the offer, but I can’t” is enough. Adding “I’m tired” or “I have things to do” only gives you an excuse to persuade.

Speak clearly and calmly. Avoid apologizing: “I’m sorry I can’t…” – this weakens the boundary. Better: “I appreciate your invitation, but I won’t be able to attend this time.”

Be prepared for resistance. People who are used to your availability may be offended. This does not mean you are wrong. It means they are used to the old rules. Stay calm and consistent.

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Many people live in constant self-criticism: “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m lazy,” “I’m not like others.” This inner criticism is like a voice that never stops. But it doesn’t make you better — it drains you, causes anxiety, and prevents you from growing. It’s time to replace it with a voice of care and acceptance.

Start by observing your inner dialogue. Write down what you say to yourself. Often we don’t notice how harshly we treat ourselves. Imagine your best friend saying these words. Would you talk to them like that? Most likely, no.

Replace criticism with self-compassion. Instead of “I messed up again,” — “I did what I could. I’m learning.” Self-compassion is not an excuse, but an acknowledgement of humanity. Everyone makes mistakes, gets tired, and doubts.

Practice daily words of encouragement. Tell yourself in the morning: “I am worthy of love”, “I am taking a step forward”, “I am already better than yesterday”. Repeat, even if you don’t believe it. Over time, the brain will begin to accept these statements.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone goes their own way. Someone has a different childhood, resources, circumstances. Comparison is the path to suffering. Instead, compare yourself to yourself in the past. Where were you a year ago?

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Anxiety is not just “nerves” but a complex condition in which the brain perceives a threat even where there is none. It can manifest itself as a racing heart, sweating, thoughts about the worst, fear of making a mistake or losing control. It is important to understand: anxiety is not a weakness, but a defense mechanism that can be learned to regulate.

The first step is to acknowledge anxiety, not fight it. When you say, “I feel anxious” instead of “I should stop being nervous,” you stop fighting it. This reduces tension. Anxiety is like a wave: it comes, peaks, and goes away. The main thing is not to drown in it.

Use breathing techniques. Deep diaphragmatic breathing reduces the activity of the sympathetic nervous system. Try: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat for 2-5 minutes. This helps to “reboot” the nervous system.

Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method. Name:

5 things you see
4 things you can touch
3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste

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The gut is the “second brain” of the body. It affects immunity, mood, weight, skin, and overall well-being. For it to function well, it needs support through nutrition. Healthy microflora is the key to energy, mental clarity, and good digestion.

First, food should be varied. The more types of plant foods you eat, the more diverse your microflora. Aim for 30 different plant foods per week: vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes, cereals, spices.

Include foods with fiber: vegetables (broccoli, carrots, beets), fruits (apples, pears), whole grains (oatmeal, quinoa), legumes (lentils, beans). Fiber is food for beneficial bacteria.

Add fermented foods: kefir, sugar-free yogurt, sauerkraut, miso, tempeh, kombucha. They contain live probiotics — beneficial bacteria that populate the intestines.

Drink enough water — 1.5–2 liters per day. Without water, fiber does not work, and constipation may occur. Water helps food transit and supports the intestinal mucosa.

Avoid processed foods: chips, soda, convenience foods, canned foods with preservatives. They kill beneficial flora and provoke inflammation.

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Mindful eating is not a diet, but a psychological approach to food in which you are fully present in the moment: you feel the taste, smell, texture, your body and emotions. This method helps you stop overeating, digest food better and reconnect with the present.

Start by creating a ritual. Before eating, take 3 deep breaths. Say to yourself: “I am going to eat.” This helps switch from “rush mode” to “eating mode.” Put your phone away, turn off the TV.

Eat slowly. Chew each portion 20-30 times. This not only helps digestion, but also gives the brain time to receive a signal of satiety. Put your fork on the plate between bites.

Pay attention to the taste, smell, color, temperature of the food. What does the soup smell like? What is the crunch of the bread? How does the avocado feel on your tongue? These details make food more filling and satisfying.

Ask yourself: “Am I hungry?” and “Am I still hungry?” Sometimes we eat out of habit, boredom, or stress. Before eating, rate your hunger level on a scale of 1 to 10. After, check how full you are.

Don’t eat from the package. Pour a portion onto a plate. This helps you control the volume and realize how much you’ve eaten. When you see food, you interact with it, not “devour” it.

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Many people experience a loss of energy after lunch, drowsiness, and loss of concentration. This is not “laziness”, but a consequence of poor nutrition. Energy does not depend on the amount of food, but on its composition and regimen. Having learned to eat right, you will be able to stay energetic until the evening.

First, do not skip breakfast. It “starts” the metabolism. Skipping breakfast leads to sugar surges and fatigue. The ideal breakfast: protein + complex carbohydrates. For example: oatmeal with nuts and an egg, whole grain toast with avocado and a poached egg.

Avoid fast carbohydrates for breakfast: sweet cereals, buns, jam. They give a short-term burst of energy, followed by a failure. Instead – oatmeal, buckwheat, quinoa, whole grain bread.

Lunch should be balanced: protein (chicken, fish, beans), vegetables (fresh or stewed), cereals (buckwheat, quinoa, brown rice). Avoid fatty, fried foods – they require a lot of energy to digest and cause drowsiness.

Drink water throughout the day. Dehydration is the main culprit of fatigue. Even 2% fluid loss reduces concentration and endurance. Carry a bottle with you, drink regularly.

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Overeating is not just a “weakness of will”, but a complex behavior associated with emotions, habits and physiology. Many people eat not because they are hungry, but because they are tired, sad, bored or nervous. To stop overeating, you need to understand the reason, and not just “hold back”.

The first reason is emotional eating. Food becomes a consolation. Solution: find alternatives – a walk, breathing exercises, calling a friend, drawing. Create an “exit map” from stress without food.

The second is a lack of protein and fiber. If you eat only buns and sweets, hunger returns after 30 minutes. Solution: include protein (eggs, cottage cheese, fish) and fiber (vegetables, fruits, cereals) in each meal. This gives long-term satiety.

The third is dehydration. The body often signals a lack of water as hunger. Solution: drink water before meals. Sometimes a glass of water is all you need.

Fourth – fast food. When you eat in 5 minutes, the brain does not have time to receive a signal of satiety. Solution: eat slowly, put your fork down, chew thoroughly. Give the body time to “say” enough.

Fifth – large portions. We are used to eating “whatever we put on it.” Solution: use small plates, measure out portions. You can put half first, and then – if hunger remains.

Sixth – night overeating. Often this is the result of skipping meals during the day. Solution: do not skip breakfast and lunch, have dinner 2-3 hours before bed. If you are hungry – drink warm herbal tea.

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The transition to a healthy diet is often associated with strict diets, prohibitions, and hunger. But in fact, healthy eating is not a restriction, but an expansion of choice. It does not require perfection, but is built on awareness, balance, and respect for your body. You can start small – just replace one product with a healthier one.

The first step is to stop punishing yourself. You do not need to abruptly give up everything you love. Instead, add. Start by increasing the amount of vegetables: add spinach to an omelet, carrots to soup, avocado to a salad. Gradually, your diet will become brighter, more nutritious, and tastier.

The next step is to understand the basic food groups. Your plate needs:

Proteins (chicken, fish, eggs, legumes) — for muscles and satiety
Complex carbohydrates (buckwheat, quinoa, oatmeal, whole grain bread) — for energy
Fats (nuts, avocado, olive oil) — for hormones and vitamin absorption
Vegetables and fruits — for vitamins, fiber and antioxidants
Don’t chase calorie counting at the start. It’s better to focus on the quality of the products. Give up packaged sauces, sodas, chips and processed foods. Instead, cook at home using fresh ingredients.

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